Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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