I hate your face
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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