I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Found your dick twin last night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Boobs are out for the taking
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
