everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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