is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
