and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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