he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need to calm my uterus...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
