you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
