I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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