WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Couch. On fire.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
