Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
