The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
