I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Too much gin, very little bucket
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
