At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
