RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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