I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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