took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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