she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
