well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
