was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
