just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
