So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
All the doctor said was why
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
