well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drake has all the answers
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
