fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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