how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
