Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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