K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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