I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
