tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
