forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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