it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
