lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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