What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
