Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
