Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
