Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
