Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
