Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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