Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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