R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My sheets look like a crime scene.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
