I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dick very happy bro
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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