She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
