I love black thongs
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
