They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I love you. Go after that dick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
