is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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