shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
