a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we should paint friendship bongs
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