the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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