she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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