We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
