So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
