Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Even my vagina gasped.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
