Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
